I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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