My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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