We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My vagina is very pro this idea
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
