This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
