A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just gargled with NyQuil
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
