I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
