he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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