We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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