Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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