Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
