2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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