Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just high enough for therapy.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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