New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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