Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
