I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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