I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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