i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
