return my video game
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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