it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
