Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's Friday. Sex?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
