Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
