Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And then my night got REAL pukey
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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