the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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