Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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