i think my mom watched the whole time
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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