When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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