Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize