Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
