yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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