bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
