how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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