Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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