As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
