Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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