I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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