You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
