tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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