Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
