Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
