Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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