He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
