We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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