This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
