based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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