We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
