I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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