No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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