hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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