in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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