youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
