so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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