dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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