What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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