I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
