He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
