I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
