i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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