Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize