and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
