In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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