I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
