can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize