R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the day after is always just damage control
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
